Flotsam and Jetsam

'Zilla is at it again. She's micromanaging her 3 year old, manipulating our mother, and in general being quite possibly the crankiest person on the face of the earth. Of course she currently has the great excuse of pregnancy hormones, but we all know that this is her default personality and giving birth offers no relief from her particular brand of insanity.

****************

I've been thinking of tinkering with the layout/design of this place, but that seems like window dressing that is unnecessary. I mean, if the content is not worth it, why bother? If any of my three current readers think it'd be good to update something, could they please comment or email?

****************

Have you ever had a friend that you love, and want to get together with, and enjoy the company of, but you can not stand some of her parenting skills? What do you do?

And what do you do if you have a friend that you love and want to hang out with, but your child and her child are like oil and water and can not get together without much angst and turmoil?

Stagnant

Same ol', same ol', trying to stealth blog with The Earner's wacky schedule leaves me twitchy and nervous. It's not such a big deal if he knows, and yet I'm still secretive when he's home. Is it in my nature?

I'm laughing my butt off over this:

Taco Town Commercial

which is not new, but B linked me, and all three of us in my household are cracking up over it today.

Also, I think I found my new mantra: Why not? The country's in the crapper, anyway!

I've been spending way too much time on Ravelry and knitting blogs, and am itching to buy yarn! start projects! achieving gauge on interesting stitch repeats! attempt altering patterns!

But I am resisting. I have the feeling that I messed something up on the fair isle sweater I'm 98% done with for the kid, and I really need to figure out what it is and fix it. Plus I have a hoodie done for my niece that needs buttons and to be mailed, I've got a scarf for a needy friend half done, and of course the never-ending afghan I thought would be a good idea to knit with a dk weight yarn. (note to self: it's never a good idea to start a LARGE project with thin yarn and relatively small needles. It. Will. Not. Move.)

Does It Remove Disdain?

Turns out Magic Eraser will get the ink off the dryer drum, but it will require a back breaking posture, intense pressure while scrubbing, and create a high pitched squeaking noise that reverberates around the inside of the dryer (and your head) for hours.

I've done about a quarter of the dryer.

Baz says my other option is to dry a few loads of towels in it and bake the ink on real good, and then not worry about it.

Have I mentioned it was not me who put the ink pen in the dryer?



There should be a rule that if you're interpreting a amigurumi crochet pattern for an 11 year old (out of the kindness of your heart) the cranky child should not be yelling at you when she doesn't understand, and shouldn't blame you for the discrepancies in the pattern. Really, could we have that rule?

My Living Room Hates Me

Google tells me that ink can be removed from the dryer drum with a Magic Eraser.

We'll see about that.


Today I will be arranging the furniture back into it's pre-holiday formation. I'm tired of kicking the coffee table every time I need to get back into the corner to turn on a lamp, and the empty gaping hole in front of the fireplace-less mantle is staring at me, taunting me, just waiting for the chair that sits to the side of it. I think my living room hates me. Evidence of this: total of 3 outlets in the room, 2 of them placed in the most inconvenient places ever. The only thing one of them is good for is plugging in the vacuum, and even then it's iffy, ever since The Earner zapped the outlet with the mis-wired plug of the old vacuum. Don't let the scorch mark deter you from plugging in the cell phones to charge, though.

Every lamp in the room is strung with extension cords all leading back to the one outlet that is not in the middle of a traffic area (trust me, we're not walking around the perimeter of the room, it's hard to explain but the outlet is just in a really BAD place), and I'm constantly on high alert for cord management issues. Draping a lap blanket over the arm of the couch isn't met with "watch the cord!" at other homes, is it? Does vacuuming the carpet involve 3 handlers and a supervisor in other houses? Because lifting the extensions, watching the connections, managing the legs of furniture, balancing the weight of the cords with the shakiness of the table the lamp is not an easy job and might explain the current state of the floor in this room.

I think I just figured out a career for myself. Much like SNL's "Good Excuses" skit, I could provide a service whereby people could call me for excuses as to why they can't do housework. I would be awesome at this, and no situation would go without blame placed somewhere other than on the slovenly person.

Surely there's a market for this?

Behave, Or You Get a View of Road Kill

The price of oil is down from last year at this time, which is great! We still use far too much of it heating this monstrosity of an old house with cracks, drafts and missing chunks of window trim, but that might not be a terrible thing, because the fresh air apparently helps the rest of the family not catch my deadly strain of strep throat. Yes, the mutant strain of strep that shredded my tender tissues and caused deep wounds that still have not healed after a week on antibiotics (which are shredding other areas... like my poor stomach). Anyway, my point is that while one should not see the curtains blowing in the breeze when the windows are closed up for the season, sitting on the couch in a sweatshirt and a sweater with a couple of blankets tucked around you is not a horrible way to spend the evening. It's kind of like hiking on a crisp winter day, enjoying the cool fresh air and breathing deeply that tingle of cold that bites at your lungs... but without the exercise and the pesky snow boots to deal with. So it's healthy, right?

So some things have changed for me in the past 6 months, the most notable one being that things are fixed in the marital department. They were broken for a while, which tends to suck the very life out of a person, and while I think no marriage is without trials and above requiring efforts, things are definitely on the mend here and much better than they were. In a related note, I did not have the Mystery Lingering Illness last fall/this winter. Sex truly IS the best medicine! Well, that and a bit less anxiety and stress, I suppose.

B and I were discussing the train wreck that is Jon and Kate Plus 8 this morning (why is my kid so obsessed with this wretched show?), and then the conversation took this turn:

ME: and I can't stand a man who takes that shit from his wife

B: I know. I don't blame him for showing the kids dead mice and horse poop, he has to get back at her somehow


which makes perfect sense to me.